Emo is for kids.... shit

Super.. duper Emo..
self emo.. shiat...

Gin?

Gin anyone? People are driving me crazy, i down like 7 shots last night, mixing with syrup and such.... I wont be surprised the bottle finishes in a week.

Never judge a book by its cover..

Who said tash can't cook? I know i have that " HUH? you can cook?!" lol, this is the comments i always get " must be instant mee" . Well, i dun outsource and tell everyone i do noe how to whip up simple dishes, you never ask you never know right, coz i do not look like those who do.

Secondly.....
You've got it.. novels.. books. I just recieved them outside my doorstep, stupid postman, didnt knock on the door, just left my stuff outside. I bought it from an online bookstore, knowing i do not have Foxtel, im gonna die of boredom.

Heybut i do read novels.. thick ones, and when i start, i cant stop. Too bad i forgot to bring my books from singapore, coz i was in a rush to pack all my stuff. So say.. they say never judge a book by its cover eh.

Tash, that party gal, who drinks and smokes, and nothing gets along in her way, yet she reads and she cooks.. whats the world coming too man..

Never judge a book by its cover, always check out the contents and price.. i may be much more expensive then you think. * winks*. Good for quality.. ha

Life sucks... so just get used to it..

Ive grown accustomed to eating these already.....
Ok ok. i am just bored... nothing to do. Exams were over since Monday already. But im not feeling all that good, coz of the last paper which is Accounting, i spent too long on a question ( which i swore i did everything right) and i still couldnt balance the account. It drove me mad. As the clock was ticking, i realise i still have other questions to finish up! As i proceed, i got "snooked" back by another question. Hell, i have sat for this particular unit twice already, i should have known what was coming. The capital and division of profits!. Arghh, it slipped my mind to study that AGAIN, or to revise it, coz i was so intrigued with the other accounting topics. So there, i got 'snooked' again, by those very same questions, and though i tried to get the answer it just didnt turn out right. i think i lost 3 marks to that. arghh..

Newae, the funny thing i did on the paper where i couldnt balance the accounts, with all my workings at the side in pencil, i wrote an " arghhh" at the side of my answers i wanted to write more like " im sorry, i just cant balance, so fustrating, i do not know what went wrong, i hope you would be lenient" ( but i think its too lame already ).. I just want to let my marker know how frustrated i am, that im tryin to balance, i think i have got all accounts right, but i have no time to waste and figure out what the hell went wrong.. Hopefully i can get some 'pitied' marks..

So there, exams over, but its not over for me until i get my results back. I was soooo moody after the paper.. everything was irritating. Coz i know this time round i was suppossed to be doing my best, but cause of one slip-up. sheesh

Newae... 2-3 mths of break, i chose not to study during the summer semester, newae they do not have all my units available, so might else well skip it. Im taking my time to study, i even told my mum, i might go for Masters then PhD. Hey.. im serious.. im doing so to escape from the working life, coz i seriously have no aim in what corporation i wanna be in and i dun wanna be called a bum.

My mum was like " good , good studying is good. Yea why not...?"

I was like " But its too expensive already"

Mum: " Well you work and pay mah.." and then she giggled... dang.

I think by the time i reach PhD or so, ill be soo damn broke from studying already..

Duh.. so now i have ordered some novels to read from and online store, just waiting for Paypal to clear my cheque.. then ill go into hibernation already..

Life sucks... just get use to it.. A lil caramel and honey, raspberry sorbet and jelly beans... will do me better i guess..

Sacarstically..... precisely.... ARGHHHH

So what do you do if someone irritates the hell out of you? You blog in here...
So what do you do, if someone mistakenly loves to add salt to your wound, and a "lighter" near your face, proceeding to burn you with another cigarette. You write in here..

Wait wait.. first step.. must always keep your mouth shut. Nod willingly to him/her while they are making the comment, while you make sure that your mouth doesn't open an inch, be it to let an ant crawl in or not. NOT even a smirk or an entry and exit from your mouth. Clam it shut. zipped, stapled, sewed.. whatever.. just shut up. Prevention is always the safest bet .

Then as you can feel your heart get warmer, you have that urge to BREATHE through your mouth, but as soon as you breathe.. you know a letter, or sentence will pass through.. STOP hold that breath. Prevention is always the safest bet remember? Then as he/she realise you have kept your mouth shut, wondering if they should send you to the hospital or perform some emergency brain scan on you.. You breathe in and say.. " no no, everything is fine" and then.. remember to CLAM your mouth shut.. not another word said. no under any circumstances.

And then sooner or later.. they realise, is queer with all that silence, its just not you.. and then they repeat that ordeal of yanking on and on trying to keep the conversation going..and you can slowly feel your brain burning up, your throat getting so stiff, your tongue wanting to spit.. you just tell yourself........
"Can you hear that? the breeze of the wind.. my Knight talking to me.. in the sweetest language ever"...
Its all in the mind baby.. all in the mind to control the thoughts...

And.. the cycle repeats itself again. Well, im not trying to be an ass here, but ive hung out much with street-smart people and non-street smart. = to those who are trying to think they know it all, but rather.. they don't, and it makes u feel so embarrassed. ( maybe im talking bout myself too) .. and from then.. it becomes a topic between you two. You noe you can rebutt him/her back. BUt when you do so.. the DEBATE starts... and on you go n go .. n on again.. you feel lke exploding, no one is winning.. and TWO choices.. 1) You write in here 2) You can go try to kiss your ass, and stuff your mouth and ears with cotton..


AND then.. the world feels better with some alcohol and smokes.......ahhhhh

22.10PM >>AND THEN.. again... again...... the cigarette has been lighted.. and im am a damn bloody doll who tries so hard .. and then i know as im typing. i so feel like taking the empty beer bottle next to me and just wack that fucker on the head..

And then. And then.. arghh.. i know im keeping my cool, by just shutting up, coz i knoe that any words i say is gonna be proved invalid and only inconstance in creating quarrels.. so im trying so darn hard... arghh.... * stabs self to bleed first.. *

This would be proved a hard core murder man...

AND THEN................................. IT happens again..

Some One... ANYONE.. KILL ME!.

P.S" ALCOHOL, never seems to taste better... * faints*

* Beep Beep*

I feel like im the Road Runner.. * Beep Beep* But seems like he is always faster than me. Running away, always on the road, never off road.. and the Coyote, that stupid big bad wolf ( if thats how you call it) , always trying to hard to harm that harmless Road Runner, who must always stay on the road, and in the end, his plans backfire, and he rebuts him ownself. Don't you guys love that show.. gee


I just think like as if all this is in my reality already. Running and running, how much longer can i run, even though i know running away makes things better, u meet different people, different environments, but just like Wile E. Coyote, will always bring problems for you and try to bring you down. But yes, you keep running and running again.

Perhaps, all i want is just some peace and quiet, laid back, no humans around me.. staying somewhere in the desert... Just me myself and I, without that stupid Coyote running and chasing after me, giving me problems...I just think thats life... and its all starting again. How much longer do one want to run? Seriously, running away makes things easy, but they always start up again or the same old problem, or creates a new one in your refuge. This always screws my life up. Man = always evil

Running again? lets see.. where's my next destination......