Fucked perception...

Wherever i go,
Ill just keep running.
They'd stalk me low,
I'll just say im out for the fun

Life is useless,
Unless you have the passion
You live on like an idiot,
To find, you're stuck with the same perception

Problems comes after another,
Running solves it moreover.
However, there will always be a new blood,
of shit fucking you up forever.

So since life is so hard and it sucks,
Why don't you just put up with it.
Continue getting fucked?
while just bloody making someone smile....


Yours truely,
Tash

NATASHA IS DEAD LIKE A ZOMBIE FOR NOW....SO NO UPDATE...

My Day~! that s tonight when the clock hits 12.

Mackie~~a.k.a Mc'callister.



My advance Bday pressie 3 weeks ago.
Well, i still have ton of words to write for my essay, but im leaving it off for tmr. Its my day!. so no school work day..
Actually i wish so much that i wouldn't even have to rem my bday, but with friends wishing you happy bdae over the internet. Its just so hard not to rem, even those spam emails will send their wishes to you..

Its another year, another day, which means im older.. and older.. at least im still in my 'early'20s still, But another year more, ill be in my mid -20s, and soon late 20s. and the BIG 3!

Oh well, love myself... ta

WiLL be back after 6th novemeber...Tons of stupid assignment, Each with a word count of at least 3,000.
I am afraid of words now.. and i truly am...
For now...

Kangaroos+Koalas+Food!

Yea... Mummy came over for a holiday.
She will still be around till next wed. Was here for about 12 days.
Man it was tiring, coz every morning i had to wake up early and bring her around. Gave up my room to her. And i was faced with two snoring persons!grr
He totally planned the whole itinerary even though Mummy wanted it like a 'rest and relax' style.
But nevertheless, since she is already here, might else well bring her around.
All we do is .. eat... and sleep.. eat and sleep. I thought i put on weight! But no.. i just weighed myself.. it was still the same. * PHEW*
The only place i enjoyed though, was the Caversham Wildlife Park. The rest of the time was kinda moody. Can't blame me! I had the PMS! and it was soooo damn irritating. Or more like everything irritated me!

Aww. how cute a little koala hugged by her mummy.

And this Koala really made me laugh.


Boing~ Boing~..Kangaroos! I have been here for over a year plus now, and i have not even seen or touch their live icons of Kangaroos and Koalas.... except for dead kangaroos i saw a few times along the roads.
Somehow, they resemble Shandy...

My Precious Dog back in SG!... haha

And food! brought my mum out to eat and eat and eat..~~
Miss Maud's lunch Buffet

Seafood appetizer... i could have taken more prawns and all. But i dun wanna look so greedy.

My other plate of salad appetizer..

And my main course. Lucky me, during that time of the month.. I'm always hungry. Hence i could stuff myself.
Most dissapointing was always the dessert part. I do not know why, but in buffets, i only look forward to its appetizer and salads.. but the desserts tend to put my off. No pics for that..

One day....

I just wanna to live all by myself.
Situated somewhere in the corner of the world.. on the hills
No one to answer to.
No responsibility to take.
No one would find me.
and No one would know where i am.
I only answer for my own actions, and i have my own groceries truck transporting my food every twice a month.
Humans are evil. So am i. We should stay away from one another...


One day......

Beef noodles.

Ok, so here is to upload the beef noodles i made again this evening. ( as my prev post said i missed the orginal beef noodles with gravy sooo much)
It was nice.. but i bought the wrong kind of noodles, instead it was the 'udon' like Vietnamese noodles. Ergh.. i hated that. I wanted to 'chu mee fen' but its so hard to find.

Gravy:
1.Chopped garlic+Onions = Stir fry till golden.
2.Add water.
3.When boiling, add beef cubes, 1 star anise, 6 cloves, 1 cinnamon stick.
4.Slow cook, add cornflour ( However much you think u need, by right the gravy takes about 3 hours to slow cook but to speed up process i added more cornflour)
5.Cracked pepper
6. Salt ( if you like, i hate using salt)
7. Dark soya sauce ( for colour and taste) + 2-3 tea spoons of light soya.
Stir, and slow cook it, min 45 mins- 1 hour, check occasionally, add more cornflour if needed.
Until thick and gravy like, drain it so that we only want the gravy not the stuff too.

Beef: Best to marinate with pepper and sesame oil over night.
Boil beef, till just nice, don't over cook. Drain and set aside
Beansprouts: Boil till nice, don't over cook again. You wan that crispiness. ( i missed out on beansprouts coz within 3 days, ill have to throw all of em away if i din finish)

Prepare 'ready-made' noodles. yellow mee or white mee.( from supermarket)
Boil, drain.

Add noodles into bowl, add the beef, beansprouts. Pour gravy over and Walah!
Add chilli and lime to taste.

Yum?
Yea hence i ditched the noodles, ate the beef and the radish only
Went on to microwave tv dinner..
SAD!. i took at least 45 mins to make the gravy

Food that i miss....for a few months already...

Food that i terribly miss, I just keep thinking about it, and this has been going on for a few months already. Even so, recently two months ago as i went back to Singapore, i told myself i will eat those foods, coz i miss them too much. But i forgot about it! and never had the chance too!. Damn.
So ended up trying to find their recipes online and to personally make them.

BEEF NODDLES -DRY! with gravy.
Aww man, i miss this to the core. I remember my favourite was at Scotts food court, but i heard its gone now, and quite a number of people are looking for it actaully. I tried cooking this. Apparently, the gravy takes like 3 hours to slowcook. But being so hungry, i poured in a vast amount of cornflour to 'stickyfied' it. Hence in an hour, it was done.
But i was hungry, so i devoured the food before i could take a pic. Not that nice to what i thought, although he said it was. I couldn't find the "zhu mee fen" ( white noodles) , so i used the yellow mee instead. FAIL.

LONTONG! ahhh.. nothing like a hearty lunch. The receipe is almost the same as another of my favourite,

MEE SOTO!. well, nah not the receipe, but more of the spices etc, are excatly the same with the lontong to make the soup base. I took down the receipe, but never got a chance to make it. Its gonna be too much for one person, so ill end up buying overloads of ingredients, which i have to throw them out within a week again.
Just like my veggies, i resorted to frozen ones now, because im tired of throwing my half lettuce, choy sum, kai lan, after a week because i never got around eating them.

And next,

XIAO WAN MIAN! another of my favourite. Never to fail to keep me full, with the ample amount of red cut chilli, that mushroom style noodles. I told myself i woud eat it when i when back. But i Didn't! SOb sob.. Because i chose btwn
yea. i chose my " mee hoon kuay" . nevermind. at least i ate it.

Last but not least. My mum is the one who said "Boo hoo" too bad you can't eat it.

SNOW SKIN MOONCAKE! yes... and my mummy is coming over to find me for a holiday. But too bad, quarantine here is super strict, so forget about bringing any kinds of food. no moon cake- ill have to go to the city to buy - lazy.
But the best of all food i miss is........

Yes Home-Cooked Food. Im sick of cooking my own food already, even thought my mum's food is bland, etc as she is a health nutrionist, nothing beats the 'warm' feeling of home-cooked food. Im gonna lay my kitchen untensils down and let my mum do any cooking for the next whole two weeks. Yay...

P.s: Those pictures are not mine,I did not steal those pictures, they just didn't put their watermark on their pictures. Im too lazy to type the source where they came from.

P.S.S.: I do not care if the english or grammar is totally shit in this post, because i don't care and im not getting marks for this, neither do i want to proof read it. I write as i feel, i dun wanna have to edit them. Lame....

Fuck the English ( and i mean the language)

You know what. No one ever complained about my writing or my standard of English in Singapore. I guess once I have been here, it seems my writing style is totally inappropriate and my tenses, verbs, grammar, style of writing is all shit. I never knew it, as when I hand up assignments, etc, regarding marketing and so on, I could score quite well.

I guess because I haven’t been writing a long time in proper sentences and paragraphs that leads to a story since like secondary school. I feel demoralized. It’s like after so many years in my life. Everyone has something to say about my English. Even my lecturer (writing for children) bluntly said “ I know some of you, English is not your first language and you didn’t grow up in a English speaking family, bla bla.” And she looked at me.! Bloody hell. It wasn’t directly, unintentionally, but I knew she was indirectly speaking about me. Fuck the class. I’m the only bloody Asian Chinese in there anyway. You think Chinese is my first language??? And how embarrassing to know I came from a English speaking family and I wished I could pretend that I don’t.

And damn! My English? Fuck my English. I wouldn’t have known it till I started this course in creative writing. I never had a problem with writing. SO what the hell is going on now? And in this course, Writing for Children especially( or perhaps the only class I freaking hate), when we are doing work shopping, the comments on my piece is so damn vile and cold. Hey common, critiques I know, but hell, you don’t have to be so straightforward. Yet when I give critiques, I still add in at least what I like and don’t like. But these are all like, bawhamm.. shoot, die. You know that feeling? Crap. A bullet straight in the head, coming from different people. That’s pathetic. I’m ranting on here at 4am in the morning because of all these comments, I had to change my whole 2,000 essay story because comments were everywhere so fuck editing the story. Bloody hell. Hence, I’m still awake, like a very angry and furious zombie…..

Fishy fish

Look Look, there he is 'snuggled' under the shell. SOOooo Cute. I only noticed it just now and snapped a pic of it. Just blogged this coz i think its so cute... aww.. yea yea, i miss having pets. I need company. I have went to the animal shelter in hope i will return with a dog. But i couldn't.. :(

Good night.

Glug Glug Glug.. extra 1.5 l Magnum of red to accompany me before i crash for bed.



And self obsessed me, definitely plain jane and not drunk. BLEAH

truth

Sometimes, its not better knowing the truth. Yes, we are all curious, and eventually will start snooping around, finding information, getting feedbacks all to find the truth. Its inbuilt in us humans right?

But, haven't you ever thought that when you find out the truth, it actually hurts and lingers with you even more? Isn't it better to just lead with the current mind, not knowing anything at all rather than finding something out, and getting yourself 'wacked'.

Ever snooped around? Finding for answers, or rather finding out all that you can? Only to get yourself hit back by " oh.. this is it" and that your heart feels guilty the whole time as you know, these are 'truths' that you are not supposed to know. In fact, they should be gone, and have no more of existence.

So i'd say... whats the point of finding out things, when you know you shouldn't be knowing at all. Let those truth 'burn'... Finding out the truth, will only linger with you for the rest of your lives, and you will never forget it. Don't be so quick to find out the truth, it might just change your life forever...

Nothing is free, there will always be consequences....

Where have i been?

As i look back.....
I sense a tinge of jealousy as i browse pictures of girls, giggling happily, with their camera's in their face, obviously spotting a night mode.
Or, a group of friends hanging out, with glasses, or paper cups in their hands, obvious to the fact of pre-partying.

Ohh.. tasha.... what art thou for have became you?....

Random post about on-goings in life.

Ive ran out of motivation to blog. Coz if i spent too much time thinking on what to write on this online typing mode, i lost my connection to writing my own 'manual-handwritten" diary.

But whats interesting is that, these two have different life events which comes about different feelings in two different writing modes. Perhaps will be interesting to read them back say.... half a decade later?? And one will start to laugh at how silly i was before. I started writing a diary since i was like 12, and im still continuing... untill im passed on definitely. Because memories sometimes fade overtime, words are needed to recollect these memories. And knowing all the hurt and sadness that you had, reading them back proves it doesn't hurt anymore....

School has started, newae this is a really random post. I have actually finished my studies last sem, but im continuing to my post-grad just so that i can prolong my stay. Nevertheless, i do not think im going back to my home country for good.

Went to class today, shockingly knowing im the only asian in the class, even though my school is made up of 'millions' of international studenst. Perhaps this unit is mainly for the minority, something to do with creative writing, which at least i know i kinda like and have interest for. But perhaps i still do not know what i wanna do in life. Some customer just asked me yesterday, what i wanted to do in life... i was like going on in circles, with no clue.. and the answer we both had and smiled was " Full of shit".

Seriously, what the hell do i want to do in life.. i cant study forever. I used to have three careers i wanted to go into 1) Air Stewerdess ( due to tattoos, i wont be able to pass the test..but i realise they are just 'waitresses' in the air but with higer income-no offence as i respect all jobs. 2) Music DJ. ( but i took that amount of money to study for a relevant degree instead of setting up my console-which is not so viable) 3) Modeling.(face/runway) ( but i had to lost that thought after my bike accident.).

SOoooOOooo.... whats is to be then? People say, one day one will eventually know.. so the question is WHEN for me???

~~~Back to Reality~~~

Penang, BKK, Singapore, and finally its over..

And so... i left on a budget plane.. and here i am back from my holiday. ( i hated budgets, n i sacrifice myself for 5 flights in total due to it being only like 500 bucks to three places only) But it wasnt all that bad, just crammed. Flights more than 2 hours will kill me. like say from Perth to , and from.. arghh)

It was a long, enduring, trip as so too me.

First stop = Penang, where stayed for one week in a place without air con, full of mosquitoes biting me every second, and motor bikes and badly maintained vehicles wheezing past, and a malay mosque nearby that WAKES you up with their prayers at 5 am in the morning without fail!
Ok i admit, im a city gal, but i cant really stay in this kinda kampong area for long, and thats a week to b precise, i was enduring! First few days was crap, i was almost crying but after that i sort of got used to it.. so it was fine.

The food next:

Penang's famous Assam Laksa, seems like everyone's favorite, but to tell u the truth? I do not really like assam laksa, I prob can eat it once a year, but not all the time, the taste just becomes bland in my mouth.

Next their another famous Char Kuay teow, but seriously this particular so-called 'popular' stall, their food did not appetize me.


And the famous chendol, by the road stall. Chendol, another is not excatly my fav. due to the coconut milk. To say the truth, i noe penang is like the food paradise for most asians, but i think due to the enviroment, i totally lost my appetite there.

The only drink i enjoyed, little jelly like seeds, and it was pinkish -red colour thats why.. :P

I always loved my oyster omelet = Or jian. But somehow, the style they cook in Penang, is just.. weird?

Whatever.. but this A&W, is a must eat.. they totally vanish from everywhere, and only Msia still has it, i bet lots of pple wants a comeback for A&W. My fav, is always the waffles and the rings, reminds me of childhood. I felt lke a little kid eating this, with two other adults staring at me.. *bleah*

But to end it all, maybe yes its true, Penang's food is just too flavoury for me...

And then it was the second stop. Bangkok, not a place i wanna head to either due to certain memories. But hell past is past. BKK, a place to shop and eat, but im not a shopaholic, and i can't stand it when pple torture me with shopping for the whole day, and i mean 6-7 hours.. everyday! Its a torture i admit, till i wanna break down and cry, as i tag along.



I was at a 'nightclub', the ones with girls... it wasn't that bad, and who said girls cant go there, only guys. Its whether u feel comfortable or not. More or less, i was more interested in checking out places meant for Girls! with MEN hosting us.. Japan has alot.. <---next target *winks*




And practically my diet in BKK was almost all Jap food. Everywhere u go, there is always jap food.
Cold soba noodles.

And the famous, minced pork, egg and rice. FOrgot the name for it in thai.


Last stop for the trip= Singapore, a place i wanted to let my hair down, catch up with everyone and party til nobody's biz. but guess what, i din really get to do it. Just one weekend with my friends, and thats it.

Some cold meat, cold tofu, cold fish cake thing = crap.

Went to this chinese resturant at Bugis Junction, where all the eateries are. ( forgot which level) And seriously the food all is crap. crap crap.

The next day, went to Tajimaya at Vivocity, great food ambience, great portion, but pricy, but nevertheless, the best i had so far, I din really eat much local food, except of those at my house nearby hawker, but i can't be bothered taking pics already. Lost my interest, coz the whole trip just went way horribly wrong.

And i spent one night in dfly, at least...sighzz....

Slack the whole time in Singapore. due to certain circumstances, i have to forfeit whatever i had planned. Upset, disappointing, but at least i had my Shandy with me..

Some says its a kangaroo, some says its a rat, some say.. it just looks too ugly but adorable to be a jack russell. Some cross bread btw a fox and terrier. But nevertheless.. i miss her... :(


for that 1 week and a half, and i wanna say sorry to all my friends.. sighz.

And thats the end.. finally...